fears, flaws, and all my failures.

I am nothing without you.

I have no one besides you.

I, Lacy Beach, am flawed. I am often prideful, selfish, lazy, unwilling, ungrateful, unproductive, irresponsible, impatient, and searching for validation from others. I fail people. I fail test. I fail family. I fail friends. I fail Cambodia. I fail leaders.  It is a waging war to walk by faith and to let there be nothing besides Him.

However, I have been reminded in my “I” moments that “I” have been crucified with Christ and “I” no longer live but He (Christ) lives in me. (Galatians 2:20) “I”, Lacy Beach, no longer live. The strength and dignity that I am clothed in, was bestowed by He who lives in me. It is a strength and dignity so radiant that only points to Jesus. The world sees the beauty of He who lives, not “I” who no longer lives. Because, “I” is often prideful, selfish, lazy, unwilling, ungrateful, impatient, and searching for validation from others. “I” is weak. So weak. “I” has nothing to offer but filthy rags. It is in the humbling moments of weakness that “I” am reminded that His power is made perfect. Because, He, who lives in me, has undefeated power.

He says to “I”; “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

That is when I am reminded that, “I” is nothing without Him and that “I” has no one besides Him. That my perfection would deter the cross of its undefeated power. Because my life is about His undefeated power.

He is always, giving, selfless, productive, pursuing, thankful, patient, and kind. He is never boasting, always validating, and constantly loving. He never fails. He is full of grace and mercy. He is not looking for perfection. He is looking for;

“Here “I” am.”

I am full of fears, flaws, and failures; But “Here I am.”

*There has been a lot of “I” moments in Cambodia. A lot of facing my flaws and recognizing that I am weak. But all the more I boast that His grace truly is sufficient in my life. In these moments I wonderfully see Him as undefeated. Although the journey gets harder it is getting easier to say; “I am nothing without you and I have no one besides you.”